Managing your household is fairly simple. But if you don’t have a plan, or neglect things too long this can become another area of contention. Something I’ve noticed is that some couples are OK with overlooking household management.
While this may be ok for some, for others it usually comes up during ‘heated communication’ or ‘arguments’. If this happens to you and your spouse you will notice that it seems to be ‘one more thing’ that gets in the way of connection.
Let’s take a few minutes to explore some ways you and your spouse can create a home management plan.
When it comes to management, the biggest problem is understanding what to do first. As a matter of fact, many people can become overwhelmed or paralyzed in their actions due to the amount things facing them. How we begin to solve this problem is by using something called a priority matrix.
The priority matrix works by understanding the difference between what is important and what is urgent.
- ‘Urgent’ tasks demand your immediate attention, but whether you actually give them that attention may or may not matter.
- ‘Important’ tasks matter, and not doing them may have serious consequences for you or others.
Mail and Important Papers
When it comes to mail, email and important papers and documents, either you or your spouse may already have a knack for handling these things. But if neither of you do here are some tips to help you.
Choose one spot to place your mail or papers. When it comes to digital documents, print them out and place them with the others. Next, sort them: bills, updates, taxes, categories that work for you. You can sort them into piles, office trays or something similar. Choose a day or two a month to sit down together and pay the bills, respond to letters and anything else that is important.
Calendar and Scheduling
Your family should have a calendar in order to keep track of important events and ensure you can keep your commitments. If you are using a digital calendar like Google, be sure you both have access to it. You can add events together or separate, but make sure you communicate to find out if your spouse is ok with the event.
Outside of scheduled events we also have social engagements. These can be impromptu dinners or coffee with friends, watching a movie, you get the idea. A rule my wife and I have is that we do our best to check with each other before making plans. I encourage you to do this as well as it shows love and respect for your partner.
Cleaning and Maintenance
Houses, property and vehicles need cleaning and maintenance. It is important that we take care of these and understand our spouse’s expectations. Since cleaning and maintenance is such an involved topic, here are some strategies to work together.
Choose a day or two each week to handle tough projects together. Divide the workload so neither of you are overwhelmed. Keep a routine cleaning list in a visible location. Don’t expect your spouse are going to see things like you do. Communicate and create a plan that works for both of you and that meets the demand.
Entertainment and Decorating
While entertainment and decorating are important they may not seem urgent. But the will become urgent if neglected long enough! When it comes to entertainment schedule it in moderation. You can also make a routine that will allow you and your spouse to recreate and bond. Make room for your spouses decorating desires in the house. It is important to never insult your spouse’s decorating choices. If you disagree with it, choose a time to communicate and remember there are only two goals: connection or disconnection and healthy communication seeks to first understand before it seeks to be understood.